Tuesday, September 22, 2009

My pet peeve is the fact that I have pet peeves.

From reading my blog, I’m pretty sure you can tell that a lot of things get on my nerves.

So I’m pretty sure you can make the assumption that I probably have a list that can go on for miles with pet peeves.

Well, you’re right. I most certainly do.

Today, I’ll be listing my top 5 pet peeves.

Ready?

Set?

Are you sure?

100% sure?

Okay, well here I go.

  1. People who crack their fingers/knuckles/any part of their body in public.

    One word: EWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW.

    For goodness sake, have some self respect for your body! I absolutely hate hearing the cracks of fingers and knuckles. It literally can be the worst thing to happen to me in a day, just hearing those cracks. It’s so freaking disgusting! I don’t care if it’s a habit of yours or if it’s something you can’t help, JUST DON’T DO IT AROUND ME.

    It kind of makes me sick? I can’t stand it. Especially because once I see/hear someone doing it, it makes me want to do it, which makes me hate it even more because I hate doing it to myself because I hate it in general. Geez.

    Do it when you’re alone, please. You can do all the crack-a-lackin’ you want by yourself. Don’t torture others with it, too.
  2. People who excessively talk about the clothes they buy/ask me about my clothes.

    Oh em gee guys! So yesterday I bought this totally cute dress and I totally need to describe to you where I got it, how I got it, who I got it with, how much it cost, what it looks like, what the stitching looks like, what the designs look like, what the colors of the designs look like, the exact length of it, where I’m going to wear it, why I’m going to wear it, and what I’m going to wear it with!

    … shoot me now? Awesome that you got a dress. Awesome that you’re so happy you bought it. Awesome that it looks awesome?

    But I really don’t want to know all these frilly  little details about your frilly little dress (or frilly little any other pieces of clothing you bought) that I can, clearly, live without. I don’t even understand how some people can go so in depth about a piece of clothing! It bewilders me. Half the time I don’t even remember where I bought the last thing I bought, nonetheless what it looks like.

    Oh and then, here’s the good part. Let’s say I bought something, and I happen to pass the detail along to a friend who asked me what I did last weekend. Then they ask me to describe what I bought.

    Friend: What does the t-shirt look like?!?!?!?!?!?!

    Me: Uh. It’s purple. And it has a star on it.

    Friend: What color is the star? Is it a small star? A big one?!

    Me: It’s yellow… uh, it’s medium sized?

    Friend: Oh okay. Well. What color is the outline? Does it have an outline? Omg, and where did  you buy it from??!?! Does it have a V-Neck or a U-Neck or a no-neck or…

    Me: Yeah. Dude? Piss the fuck off.

    If I don’t want to talk about your clothes, I really don’t want to talk about mine.
  3. Megan Fox.

    Oh Megan Fox… where do I begin? Bad acting, plastic, and a bitch. Tsk tsk.

    I can’t even fit why I hate this woman in a few sentences. That’s why I have this lovely blog post all about it and you can click this long sentence to read it if you haven’t already read it yet.
  4. That Farmville game on Facebook… and the people who play it.

    It is oh-so annoying to log on Facebook and have my wall covered in things like, ‘OLIVANDER IS MOVING UP IN FARMVILLE! HE BOUGHT A SHEEP!’ or ‘OLIVANDER PLANTED CORN ON FARMVILLE!’ I mean, seriously?! You planted some damn corn. LOVELY, do you have to post it on your wall? (No I don’t really have a friend named Olivander.) Anyways, I don’t get how people can play Farmville so intently. I tried once. It’s so fucking boring! All you do is plant shit, wait for the shit to grow, sell the shit, then plant some more shit.  Can you get anymore dull? No I don’t think you can.

    Then there’s stupid things like, you can randomly find a sheep or a dog or something on your farm and if you do it’s like SO EXCITING AND YOU TOTALLY NEED TO SHOW EVERYONE ON FACEBOOK THAT YOU FOUND A VIRTUAL ANIMAL SHITTING ON YOUR VIRTUAL FARM. Case closed.
  5. Short skirts, tight shirts, slut alert!

    Ladies, I don’t want to see your panties. And I don’t want to see your squished and suffocated breasts pouring out of your shirt. Save that for the next guy you’re fucking, okay? I hate seeing girls overexpose themselves. If you have a nice body, show it off in a subtle and pleasant way, not in a way where I have the urge to go over and pull your skirt up. Not only is it pathetic, but it’s such a disgrace to the female gender. Do you have no respect for yourself what so ever that you’re going to parade your assets around and basically have the word EASY stamped on your forehead? It pisses me off a lot.

    If you’re doing it for the guys, well honey, why don’t you think twice about that? Do you want a guy that’ll only like you for your body/only focus on your body or a guy that’ll like you for who you are? If you’re smart at all, you’ll go for the second answer.



    Don’t be a stupid girl, please.

And there you go, my top 5 pet peeves!

I didn’t curse too much, right?

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